Proverbs 17:14
The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
Proverbs 17:9
Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
Tag: Conflict Can Be Avoided
In today’s society, conflict is a the main course. Rather than go out of of our way to avoid conflict, which the above passages are teaching, people seem to look for conflict. Solomon lived in a relative peaceful time. When God asked him what he wanted from God, he asked for wisdom. God not only have him wisdom, He gave him wisdom, prosperity and peace. The beauty of wisdom is that it leads to prosperity and peace, if we have real wisdom: The Fear of the Lord. Conflict “opportunities” might be the perfect time to test wisdom. When faced with a conflict we often get our injustice, entitlement, ego, or envy, ignorance, or imperium (desire for power) involved. Rather than pursue these desires, Solomon states, in the above proverbs, ceasing from strife and ending a conflict before it gets going is the best method for peace. It does not take much to continue into a conflict. It might even seem deserved. It might even feel right. But, wisdom teaches that the ending of strife is better than starting it, or continuing into it. Love covers a matter. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us this about how love interacts with wrongs:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If we stop the strife before it gets rolling we have a better chance to avoid the flood of conflict.
Another journal entry:
Proverbs 17:14 (NASBStr)
The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.
Some advice is easy to say and simply impossible to make work. Such is the above proverb. For the past twenty-years I have had the privilege of being the "peacemaker" in the business and commerce world, as well the church. Although all the proverbs can be applied to today's work force, seldom does a proverb state a more important and practical truth as applied to the dilemma facing the work-a-day world in modern society. Every day I engage in conversations with workers and co-workers who simply can't get past an offense, or a conflict. By the time I am called, however, the conflict is typically a full raging war. I am seldom called when the conflict is in its seed state. There is a time in every conflict where a gentle response would kill the seed (Proverbs 15:1). There is actually an assessment the world puts out that measures how people handle conflict. It measures how often in the midst of conflict we compete, collaborate, compromise, accommodate and AVOID. Most of the time when people see the word "avoid" they are hesitant to incorporate such a term in their dealings with conflict. Yet, Solomon is telling us that there is a time when that is exactly what we should be doing. We should "abandon" the quarrel before it breaks out into a war. Notice what Paul tells the church:
Ephesians 4:26
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
Solomon is not telling us to excuse evil. In Romans 12 Paul tells us to overcome evil with God and His character. Solomon and Paul are telling us to allow God to care for evil and wrong and not to extend the wrong or quarrel. We are to abandon it for the purpose of by faith allowing God to deal with it. We are to be peacemakers. Let the ONE who knows how to deal with evil deal with it. We would do well to score high on Avoid.
Another Journal entry:
Proverbs 17:14
The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.
Let it go!! That might be the best phrase to teach us all. "Just let it go!" How many times would that advice help us in our navigation through life's challenges with others? Water has a surprising amount of power as it seeps through cracks and craveous. Just a small stream can eventual erode some of the strongest fortresses. It strats small but as the water gains steam and momentum it ushers in certain destruction. We can't stop it once it gets moving with power. So, too, a litle stife. Small in the beginning in mounts up with wings and carries away all those in its path. We know it is coming. But, rather than letting a little offense go we turn it into a giant path of destruction. We make excuses and our feelings move us closer to the edge of outburst. Biting out tongue, turning our eyes, or squelching our heart is simply something we have to do if we want to stop a quarrel before it has steam to hurt or damage relationships. If you are wounded by the tongue of another, the look of someone or the words of a friend, let it go. You will be safer for it.
However, just telling someone to “let it go” is not enough. We have to also teach them “how” to “let it go.” When Paul tells us to “put off” our former life (the life we had before we believe in Christ), he tells us “how” to “put off” (or, “let go”):
Ephesians 4:22-23 (ESV Strong's)
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
If we tell people to “let go” of something, then we should also help them “renew” their minds to new thinking patterns. Paul says the same thing in Romans 12:1-2. We are to “renew” our minds. Creating new thoughts, based upon new truth, founded in Christ is the only way to “let it go.”
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