Proverbs 12:4 (ESV)
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
You have to read this proverb from two points-of-view. One view is from that of the husband and one view is from that of a wife. From the husband's vantage point we have a wonderful vision of respect and glory. An excellent wife (virtuous) is a wonderful thing for a man. It is like a "crown" on the head. Most men can relate to that vision. Most men feel like they "deserve" a crown on their head so this isn't such a hard concept for them grasp. For men to have a wife who they can be proud of is a great feeling. It crowns him with glory and pride. On the other hand, thank of the wife in this proverb. The wife sees this from a different point-of-view. To be virtuous for her husband and toward her husband brings her honor and glory as well. On the opposite side is the wife who brings shame to her husband. That is like rottenness in his bones. From crown to crones disease by just a change in relationship. That is what a good marriage relationship can do for them each. That is why it is so important to have a good relationship with a wife and to make sure a wife has a greater relationship with God. Her relationship with God (who gives her virtue) will make her husband a better man. Developing a relationship with God will not only give your life a blessing from God will it enhance your relationship with your partner. God is at the top of the triangle and as we each draw close to Him we draw close to each other.
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