Proverbs 26:21

The book of Proverbs gives us insights into so many different areas of life. The book gives us instruction on how to live our lives for God. Here is a proverb that gives us insight about people who wallow in conflict:

Proverbs 26:21 (ESV)

As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,

so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

Some people are natural at starting fires.  They are simply contentious individuals who, like wood to fire, keep things stirring.  Our modern-day phrase might be "pot-stirers". In the previous proverb Solomon tells us what to do about these type of people:

Proverbs 26:20

For lack of wood the fire goes out,

And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.

You can't correct a contentious person. At least not readily or easily. The best thing to stop a fire is remove, or at least, separate wood from other wood.  That is why Solomon tells us to go up in a roof if we are with a contentious women (21:9).  Separation from the contentious person can allow the fire to cool. We all want to "convince" the contentious but we should focus on allowing them to "cool" before we engage.  If not we will might get burnt by hot coals.  Note this earlier proverb from Solomon on the same subject:

Proverbs 15:18

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,

but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

If you want the fire to go out you have to pull the logs from the fire.  If you want peace you have to pull the contentious man from the strife.   If you try to appease him you allow him to stay in the fire and to keep the heat going.  Pull the logs away by separation and the fire goes down, if not out.