Proverbs 18:24

The book of Proverbs gives us insights into so many different areas of life. The book gives us instruction on how to live our lives for God. Here is a proverb that gives us insight about friends:

Proverbs 18:24 (NASBStr)

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,

But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Having friends can be a very blessed life.    Proverbs has much to say about the subject of friends.  The Hebrew word for friend in this proverb is used 30 times in the book of Proverbs and is often translated "neighbor" rather than "friend."   Solomon tells us how to treat friends (neighbors) and how to handle how they treat us.   Such is the verse above.   Solomon was wealthy, so there is no doubt he had many friends.   He is telling us that having many friends can bring us to ruin.   There are some friends that can be destructive to us, Solomon warns.   Perhaps by pulling at us to help them.   Perhaps they want more from us than we can give.  Maybe they are pretending to provide something in the friendship but instead take something, or want to take something.  The second line, however, contrasts the first.   Yes, there might be many friends who attempt to hurt us or take from us.   They can bring us to ruin.  But, according to Solomon, there is a friend who is so close, he/she transcends even the relationship of a brother; a family member.   Solomon is giving us the two extremes.   On the one hand we have too many friends, many attempting to destroy us or harm us.  On the other hand, we can have one friend that is so close, they are better than a family member.    Solomon is giving us an admonishment to enjoy friends and be leery of a friend(s) at the same time.   We must be on our guard when it comes to friends.  They are not always what they seem.   Or, they are more than what they seem.   Either version is always possible.

It is not the quantity of friends that make for a good life but the quality that matters. There are some different interpretations of Proverbs 18:24. But, when you look at the Hebrew structure and understand Hebrew poetry the NASV has it correct, “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The point of the verse is simple; a lot of friends (spreading yourself too thin) will cause you to come to ruin. But, selecting individuals for friends who stick by you like a brother is wiser than selecting multiple friends. In our society today (with social media tools) it is not who signs on to your friendships but how many sign on. Solomon is telling us that it is not how many who attend my party but the quality of those individuals who attend. Don't count the number of noses in your life but rather measure the shape of their hearts.